Church and Community

I was thinking the other day about how we treat other people, and why. 

The example I thought of at the time came out of driving, and how we can get angry so easily at people on the road because we can't see their face, and are completely detached from them as human beings.  Instead, we see them as objects, or "forces" that are usually hindering our ability to get where we want to go.  We don't think of them as people, or as families - we see them as cars.  I read somewhere, or watched something (more likely) that talked about the mental and emotional strain put on snipers because they can actually see their targets before they shoot.  It's much easier to be the guy in the ship off the coast of some country who pushes a button that launches a missile and kills people because the people are merely numbers to be counted later by someone else on the ground.  They're statistics, kill counts, instead of mothers, fathers, sisters, and brothers.  The same principle applies to every day life when we can get behind some sort of barrier and interact with the world by lobbing grenades instead of standing up and interacting with one another face-to-face.  When we're in the car, or on the internet, or even just writing a letter or an email we have the barrier that we need to be bold and assertive, cutting and insensitive because the human aspect is gone. 

Instead of putting up barriers to dehumanize our behavior, what if we took the time to remember that the people we interact with every day - whether they are in another car, or reading our email half a world away - are people just like you and me.  They are all over the place, dealing with stress and pain that we simply don't know of and don't care to.  What if we looked at the people on the road as if they were all friends of ours?  I know the cars of all of my friends, and if I saw one of them up ahead of me cut someone else off (or cut me off) I'd shrug it off, probably smile and laugh.  Instead, when it's a car I don't recognize, I get angry, spiteful and bitter...because I can. 

This is why I think it's so important to have a strong community that makes up a church.  Without community, the church is just a group of people who share a common goal - like a township, or a community watch.  Everyone goes to the meetings because they all want their voice to be heard - but we tend to keep everything at arms' length because it's easier to be mean that way.  It's easier to be judgemental of someone you don't have to see cry after hearing your comment.  BUT, when we want to say something nice, we approach each other.  When we want to be kind and caring, we physically visit someone in the hospital and sit in the waiting room for hours just so they can see us and know we came. 

I think that at the end of the day, if we looked at church as a community first, we would be really uncomofortable being so crappy toward each other.  If we could engage each other, and love each other like we love our closest family and friends than we would be drawn away from the quick judgements, the rumors, and the condemnation that we are all capable of.  But, sadly, all too often churches are setup to be the other way around.  The building is put up around a group of people who are all great friends and have great community.  When new people show up, they're welcomed with open arms, but when it comes time to be friendly, we look for the friends we started with, or came with.  We zone in on a few core people who we can trust, and keep everyone else out.  And sooner or later we end up with a church that is one big rotten tomato with each worm trying to get what he or she thinks she deserves. 

Read this.

...on mental illness

I think that it is very important to erase the distinction between physical illness and mental illness, and the social stigmas associated with one of the two.  It's not cool to make fun of someone who suffers from arthritis, or epilepsy, but for some reason at this point we still think that mental illness is something that, through the power of the brain working on itself, can be overcome.  It's ridiculous.

My favorite is:

          "Oh, but once you start taking those medications, you can never stop!" 

Similarly, anyone who has ever  had an organ transplant can never stop taking their anti-rejection drugs, and the cardiac patient can never not take their asprin and cholesterol medication. 

I've been thinking a lot lately about why Christians (myself included) are so critical.  I think one of the main reasons why is because deep down we're either proud of ourselves for achieving something - like a moral high ground, or we are insecure about what we believe, rooted in an inability to truly defend it. 

Here's an example from my own life:

I'm a messy, unorganized person.  It's just how I am.  It's not that I lose things, I just don't put things back where they should go.  For example, instead of doing the laundry and putting everything back in the drawers in some sort of order, like: pants in the bottom drawer, shirts in the middle, t-shirts and socks in the top, etc., I usually just throw the "chunk" of clean folded clothes in whatever drawer fits it.  That is, if I get that far.  Right now, there's a stack or two of clean clothes sitting on the floor in front of my dresser that I've been picking at for a few days. 

If I ever, for some miraculous reason, get organized and dedicated to folding everything neatly and collating my clothing, I'm sure at some point I'll look down on someone who is messy.  First of all, that will probably never happen because I'm way too scatter-brained to maintain that sort of sequence on a regular basis, but if it ever did, or someone did it for me, I'd be inclined to look at someone else's mess and criticize it because my drawers are all nice and neat.  (Now.) 

(For now.)

I think the same applies to Christians when they're talking to other Christians.  First, you get the Christian gossip which always focuses on someone hearing about someone else who is struggling with a certain sin that they aren't.  You never hear a self-proclaimed alcoholic gossipping to another Christian about their friend the booze hound.  What you do get all the time is the Christian who is secretly struggling with something, but because of the nature of Christians, they can't say anything to anyone about it because it will affect that relationship negatively - so instead often times they expose their own struggles through their condemnation of others with similar struggles. 

There's this other version of criticism that comes out of a Christian competitiveness that is really heartwrenching.  Whenever someone does something good, it seems like there's someone out there who is just looking for the opportunity to shoot them down for some thing that they aren't perfect in.  How many times do you hear people talking after a church service about that one thing the pastor said, and how it's not quite what they believe?  I've done it.  I do it. 

I think it'd be well worth our while to take an introspective look once in a while at why we say what we do.  Think about that sarcastic comment before it comes out of your mouth, because odds are it's rooted in something deeper.  Maybe it's guilt over your own sins, or regret, or doubt, or maybe you're just struggling with your faith.  Instead of using those insecurities and issues as amunition to shoot other people down - get help.  Go talk to a friend you can truly trust, or a counselor you don't know.  Or spend some serious time crying out to God. 

Stupid (Read: Stupid)

I'm getting sick and tired of reading articles, blogs, comments, and other amateur writing where the author can't express themselves, so they write (Read: __________  ).  For example:

"The other day I was in the mall and saw a bunch of kids I knew from High School (Read: Losers)." 

If you can't convey what you mean without using a parenthetical, you shouldn't be writing in the first place so next time spare me the mental drain and keep it to yourself (Read: Don't write anything (read: nothing)).

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I have been blessed this year.  Truly.

The one thing that has been on my mind for a while is the simple undeserved grace that we receive.  It's so easy to dwell on the big bad things that happen to me, or the areas in my life that need improvement, and it's much harder to thank God for the things that don't happen to me, and the areas in my life that are doing ok.  It reminds me of the attitude we take toward each other.  It's not all that uncommon to get a card from a friend if you're sick, or if a loved-one died.  But how uncommon is it to get a card, or a phone call from a friend just for encouragement?  I think that (at least for me) we all are attracted to hardship in a way - and we want to be there for our friends when they're having trouble because in some sick, twisted way it reaffirms to us that we're not doing all that bad.  We forget about encouragement when everything seems to be going fine.  In the same way, it's easy to gripe and to complain about that lost job, or that jerk boss, and it's hard to thank God for that nice boss, or that paid vacation day you just took.  Speaking of, where do we get off thinking that we deserve PAID vacation?  I still get giddy thinking about it.  You mean that someone values me enough to pay me to take a day off when I'm really running on empty?  That's AWESOME. 

So, here's my short-list:

I'm thankful that the sun is shining right now, after it's been dismal for the past two weeks.

I'm thankful that it's warm outside today.

I'm thankful that I wasn't involved in that accident up the street from my office yesterday that took out a telephone pole and caused us to lose power for 2 hours.

I'm thankful that I was able to sleep well last night and be energized to go running at 6am this morning.

I'm thankful that my rear drivers-side tire that has been slowly leaking for a month didn't all of the sudden pop on the way to work this morning causing me to swerve into oncoming traffic and kill someone.

I'm thankful that I make enough money to afford the things I have - from the camera gear, to the new car, to the lunch I always have.

I'm thankful for the ripe red apple I bought this morning, and how we can get red ripe apples all year round.

I'm thankful for friends and family who have stuck with me for many, many years.